no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
