Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
