I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
