Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
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