did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
