Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Boobs speak an international language.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
