It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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