I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
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I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
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There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I have post one night stand depression
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