Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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