also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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