You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
