The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
