using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize