ya dads aren't the best wingmen
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
