im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
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