I'm pants shitting drunk right now
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
soo... how was my night?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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