Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
