Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
