i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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