ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize