this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
