I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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