i wish there were pregnant emoticons
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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