what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
