sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
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Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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