If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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