he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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