Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
