this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
