when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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