Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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