Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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