I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
