That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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