P.S. I can't hear my feet
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
