In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
