I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize