Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
