fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize