We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
