Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize