So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He better not be in your backpack
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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