i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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