i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I understand Curling. That high.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
