I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Randomize