Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
