i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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