First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
