I cannot find my penis.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
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