I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
