I need help removing her.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
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