She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
