yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
