Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
