the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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