i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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