You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
PANTIES FOUND
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
