shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
