my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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