Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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