come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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