I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
it glows. i had to have it.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
