What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
