So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
