If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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