you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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