If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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