I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Is it penis luge time yet?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
