To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
