I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
